CRISIS – WHAT CRISIS?

As I recall it was John Lennon who once observed how “life is something that just happens while you are busy making other plans”. True or not it’s certainly funny how sometimes it can really hit you on the most unlikely of occasions just how much comedy can highlight the absurdities of real life: more than that – how much it can hammer home what desperately needs to be changed. I had just such a sudden insight into the island’s present political situation only the other evening when, having stumbled upon an old box of DVDs in the loft, I decided to unwind by re-watching the classic old fantasy movie ‘Erik the Viking’ directed by Terry Jones of Monty Python fame.

Without boring you all with the whole story (do go and hire a copy if you haven’t seen it though!) whilst on their quest to re-awaken the Viking Gods to petition them to end the dark age of Ragnarök (see the comparison with Ministerial government already?) and restore peace Erik, the hero of the tale, has to travel to the legendary island of Hy-Brasil. To cut a very long story even shorter, when blood is inadvertently spilt on the island’s shore Hy-Brasil begins to sink. And here’s the real relevance to a first blog discussing politics…

Erik can see this, the island’s people can see this, even the King’s daughter, Princess Aud (who Erik happens to fancy but that’s another story) can see this. The Princess, already up to her ankles in waves and soon to be in dire need of a life jacket, pleads for her father, wise old King Arnulf to save the people and leave the island. But Arnulf won’t. You see he is “much more experienced in these things” than his young daughter. And because he is so much more experienced, and a King to boot, he can’t bring himself to accept that she or the populace for that matter could possibly know better than him.

Which low and behold brings me to our own beloved Chief Minister, Senator Frank Walker. More specifically to his latest staggering performance in disregarding evidence that would probably even have caught the brief attention of Robert Mugabe that actually all in the ‘Kingdom’ is not at all well!

The Council of Ministers is facing a vote of no confidence. Most would probably agree this is well earned.
Senator Walker himself is facing a vote of censure – it should and would have been a vote of no confidence too we all know. It isn’t purely because its proposer, Deputy Geoff Southern, knows full well the Assembly is sufficiently packed with gutless hangers on and wannabe future Ministers for whom serving the public comes a very sorry second to personal vested interest, that this would have had about as much chance of success as there is of PPC ensuring there is a level election playing field come the autumn!
The Bailiff – you remember him, the guy who takes home a salary four times the British Prime Minister’s yet who did nothing to remove a convicted paedophile from the Honorary Police whilst Attorney General – is also facing a well merited vote of no confidence.
The vote on the waterfront ‘master plan’ – one of the most important in terms of long-term implications for the island of the last 25 years - is now quite likely to be rescinded in light of the Harcourt fiasco; potentially throwing the island into further chaos.
The remaining States Members on WEB, Senator Paul Routier and Deputy Jacqui Huet, not to mention its Chairman, the former States Deputy and rumoured wannabe future Chief Minister, Gerald Voisin are also facing the old heave-ho for their part in the shambles.
GST, so lovingly created by the politician who WILL be the next Chief Minister to protect the best interests of the island’s most wealthy residents at the expense of the rest of us is already sending the first small businesses under.
The failure to amend the significant, and lets be honest, glaring flaws in the new Income Support scheme is already seeing vulnerable elderly people afraid of the cost incurred by visiting their doctor instead queuing down at an already over-stretched A&E.
Over-shadowing it all, of course, the truly horrific on-going saga of the Haut de la Garenne scandal itself.

The point is that to most ordinary people regardless of their normal political leanings all of the above surely amounts to a crisis. Indeed, to borrow from the legendary Captain Edmund Blackadder of BBC Television fame this is surely: “a large, twelve story crisis - with 24 hour portage, fully carpeted throughout and with a large sign on the top saying:

THIS IS A LARGE CRISIS.”

Yet not, so it seems, in the eyes of our wise old Chief Minister, Senator Frank Walker. No. It’s all just political opportunism in election year… Which brings us neatly back to Erik the Viking and the aforesaid King Arnulf.

Just like their fictitious counterparts in Hy-Brasil the population of Jersey can see that under ‘King’ Frank and his hapless, arrogant Council of Ministers our island is sinking too, at least in terms of ensuring a long-term prosperous future. Sinking, in fact, almost as quickly as the credibility of the Council of Ministers itself. No, not even £300.000 worth of best quality Communications Unit spin can hide that fact any longer.

So come on, Frank. Joking aside, 11.59 it may well be - but it’s not too late. Don’t be a King Arnulf and drown the ordinary people of Jersey with you. Save us! Do the decent thing: abdicate and take your fawning courtiers with you! After all, they say Bermuda is very nice this time of year…